Mike is my one and only child, and the best son in the whole-wide world. I’m not sure if you ever get over the loss of your only child. However, being able to remember the joy he brought to my life makes the loss less painful.
Mike was a pleasant baby, always smiling, laughing and playful. When he was born the nurses nicknamed him “Thunder Thighs”. We called him “Mookey” which I later found out has African origin, meaning “charming”. One of my favorite stories of Mike the toddler was when he wanted an apple but didn’t want me to cut it as I usually did. He said he was a “big boy” so I rinsed the apple and gave it to him whole. About a half-hour later he came back declaring the apple was “all gone”. I asked him where the core was. He looked at me and said “all gone”. I said I knew he ate the apple but where was the core and the seeds. He looked at me again and said “all gone, I ate the WHOLE thing”, and then he ran off smiling and laughing. After checking him and looking around his play area I realized he really did eat the whole thing…core, seeds and all!
As Mike became a young man I witnessed how much stronger his walk with Christ was than mine, and I wanted what he had. One day after he passed, I was reading the paper and noticed it was National Son Day. I remember feeling a deep sense of loss, thinking I will never be able to celebrate the day with him again. And just as I was about to start a massive ugly cry, I had a sense of Mike around me and I heard the words, Mike will always be your son. His being in heaven and away from you today is no different than if he were in California or across the world. No matter where he is, he will always be your son and you can always celebrate that. Immediately the dread was gone and I was thankful for Mike’s relationship with God, and his constant presence around me.
One of our last big discussions was about death, and it happened three months before he passed. Three of our really close family members had passed unexpectedly, and it was a shock to many family members. We talked about how death is a natural part of life, the one thing we all know will happen one day. We agreed that if the family would talk about death like we discuss all other parts of life, it wouldn’t hurt so bad when it happened, and we’d be more prepared. I was glad we had the conversation, after all I’m not getting any younger and I wanted him to be ready for whenever my day came. Little did I know that the conversation was preparation for me.
The one thing I’ve learned about Mike’s passing, is that we never know when THAT day will come. If you’re a parent don’t take your child(ren) for granted. LOVE them. RESPECT them. TALK with them. BE with them. TEACH them right from wrong—and consequences, and how to deal with disappointment. HELP them experience joy, and in the end joy will be given back to you.
Son Of A King Project
